What's your name?　　A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:"My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks with me ,and then we'll...

Present for Girlfriend　　At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.　　The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it 'To my one and only love'. That way, if we...

I'm Trying to Stop It　　"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"　　"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."把它堵在里面　　“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?”　　“没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一...

Three Reasons　　Teacher: Stone, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.　　Stone: Ma says so, Pa says so, and you say so!三条理由　　老师：石头，说出三条理由来证明地球是圆的。　　斯通：妈妈是这么说的，爸爸是这么说的，你也是这么说的。

Female:"Do you have a car of buick?"　　Male:"Didn't."　　Female:"Three room one hall?"　　Male:"Didn't."　　Female:"Still do not dare to come and am I mutually close?!"　　The female leaves in anger.　　The male feels suspicious:"Why must let me ch...

God and Grandma　　Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. 　"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR...&qu...

Persistance　　Returning from a golf outing, my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. "Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?"　　"Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win," my husband hedged. "We just play to have fun."　　Unda...

A Small Boy and a Donkey　　A small boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad. "What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny?" asked one of them."So he won't join the army," the youngster replied without...

Do You Know My Work？你知道我是干什么的吗？ One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．两个人站在外面，看着大火。“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of...

高级休闲英语 我的幸运数字Lucky Number 幸运数Frank believed that five was his special number. 弗兰克相信,5是他的幸运数。He was born on May 5, had five children and lived at 555 East 55 Street. 他生在５月５日，有５个孩子，住在东５５街５５５号．At the track on his 55th birthday, he was surprised to find a horse named Numero Cinco running in the fifth ra...